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Hungry Cowboy Page 18
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And I missed him. Kyle. I missed being in his house, looking up and finding him there. Now that he knew the truth, chances were that he wouldn’t want to see me again. Why would he? Ideally, he would like to have the situation taken care of, quietly, without any media trouble.
I had brought nothing but disruption to his life, and he was probably already glad to be rid of me. This was probably one gossip story that he liked – that he had thrown me out of the house. It went well with his image, of being the most desirable man in the country. Why would he want me in his house anyway?
Chapter Sixteen - Kyle
I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Now that this new story was out, I couldn’t stop thinking about how it had affected her. I was worried for her health, for her happiness, and for my child. The game was coming up, and I felt less prepared than ever. Erica had been right. Maybe I wouldn’t win sometime soon.
“This works to your favor.” Lewis was biting his nails as he spoke. We were in the locker room, and I had been lost in thought. I was training for the game, but my mind was elsewhere. By now, I was sure that I was going to lose.
“What?” I asked. I hadn’t heard him the first time.
“I said, this works to your favor. The new story. It’s probably a good way of putting you in the clear. You two had a fight, you threw her out of the house, relationship over, end of story.” Lewis went on while I slipped out of my jersey. I wrapped a towel around my groin this time. I trusted nobody around me anymore.
When I hadn’t said anything to what Lewis had said, he continued. “Unless she decides to make a statement that you were violent with her or something, or that you cheated, or something like that.”
“She won’t,” I said, staring into Lewis’ face.
“How do you know? Don’t presume you know her, Kyle,” Lewis warned, but I looked away from him.
“I do know her,” I said, quietly. I wasn’t in the mood to smile or even look at Lewis or talk to anyone. I was going to be a father, and nobody knew about it. There was nobody for me to share the news with.
“You spent a few days with her. That’s it. She’s a journalist. You said yourself that she cares about her career. She might say something like that to save face.” Lewis spoke spiritedly.
I slammed the locker door shut loudly. “Then let her.”
“But we will have to formulate a counter attack.”
“No counter attack. She can say what she likes, which I highly doubt she will and I don’t want you to issue any statement from my side either.” I was walking away from Lewis, but he followed me.
“Are you crazy, Kyle? You have to look out for yourself, not for a woman you barely know.” Lewis was speaking through gritted teeth.
I whipped around to look at him, looked him directly in the eye. “I do know her Lewis, and I’m in love with her.” That was the first time I had said it, even to myself, but I knew that was the truth. There was no denying it anymore. It wasn’t just about the fact that we were going to have a child together. It was about my feelings for her. I missed her, and she didn’t even know it.
“You’ve lost it completely, Kyle. This woman could very easily use you. She might have planted cameras for that initial picture for all we know. Who knew Erica Lee’s name before all this started? Now the whole country knows her.” Lewis had worked himself up. He was talking very loudly and was following me to the shower.
“Like I said, Lewis. I don’t care.” I was on the verge of revealing to him that she was also pregnant with my child, but I stopped myself just in time. It was as much a secret of hers as it was mine and I had no right to reveal it to anybody without consulting her first.
“You’ll care when she fucks you over,” Lewis spat at me as I pulled the shower curtain aside.
“If she does, I won’t call you. Thanks, Lewis,” I said and stepped into the shower, pulling the curtain shut. The steamy water hit my skin and I closed my eyes. I pictured Erica here with me, bent over against the wall, me pounding into her. In those moments we were making a baby and we didn’t even know it.
I wished I could tell my parents. Erica had mentioned proud parents before. I wished I had spoken to her more openly, told her about how sick they both were. I had kept them hidden, away from the public eye, in well-paid nursing homes. I couldn’t care for them myself, and now I needed them. I wanted to tell them that they were going to be grandparents. But I couldn’t. Erica detested me. I had seen it in her eyes, heard it in her voice. She believed I had ruined her life.
I remained in the shower for longer than required, till my skin became wrinkly like a prune. When I stepped out, I pictured her again: sitting on the bench, legs crossed, wearing a shirt of mine. She had looked up at me, pretending to be professional, when I was ready to give her the interview. She had asked me questions nobody had asked me before, and I had answered them. I wish I had known then that there was something special about her. That I was attracted to her, more than just to her body.
But I couldn’t make her talk to me now. She had claimed she needed time away from me, and I respected that. I also knew that she wouldn’t contact me again, not after a story like this. She had had enough of me and my PR stories. I had embarrassed her enough with our fake relationship. If anything, it had only made things worse for her.
I dried myself off with a towel and put on the clothes I had carried with me.
“Hey, Kyle. You remember that chick you banged last season? At the bar?” My teammate Chuck had come up to me. I remembered vaguely who he was talking about. Tall, brunette, Brazilian.
“Yeah,” I said, shrugging.
“She’s here, waiting outside. Wants to see you, lucky bastard.” Chuck laughed and then thumped me on my back.
“I’d appreciate it if you told her I’m not interested,” I said and walked away from him, knowing full well that he was staring after me, surprised by my lack of enthusiasm.
Chapter Seventeen - Erica
I had no reason to come, but he had given me the ticket before when I was living in his apartment. And I wanted to see him in person, one last time. I sat down in the front, in the special seats, surrounded by celebrities and well-known faces. Kyle had given me the best seat in the stadium.
I watched him on the field, and I knew instantly that he was not on top of his game. I regretted ever telling him that there would come a time when he wouldn’t win. Of course, I wanted him to win. I was in love with him. I didn’t hate him. My anger was towards the world, not him.
We hadn’t spoken to each other in over ten days since I had stormed out of his house. He had stayed away, which could only mean one thing: he was glad I was gone.
I noticed the cameras, the paparazzi present as always. They were clicking away, churning up new stories about how a heartbroken Erica Lee had come to the game to watch Kyle Murphy on the field, even after he had thrown her out of his house. I didn’t care anymore. The damage was done. My public life was over. I would have to find a job somewhere as a shop assistant, maybe in my old town. Maybe I could move back in with my dad. He had taken the news of my pregnancy surprisingly well. That was the best option for me now. And this was my last chance of seeing Kyle in person again. Even if it was only from the sidelines.
His lithe athletic body moved like the wind. He was tackled, but he soldiered through. It was easy to see that he was still the apple of everyone’s eye. None of these stories had truly changed their affection for their hero. He was still able to charm his way out of all this.
I clapped as the crowd cheered, a smile on my face. I was genuinely happy to see him on the field. He wasn’t himself, granted, but he was doing his best. He was doing what he was good at and those were the genes that my child would have as well. Kyle Murphy’s genes.
They won. I hadn’t expected them to win, and they had come close to losing, but Kyle saved the day again. His last kick was perfect, it arched through the air and he made it, serving his team with a magnificent victory yet again. When they carried
him on their shoulders, he was close to the bleachers. I could see him clearly. The way his chest rose and fell with the excitement, the look on his face. He was surprised they had won, he was in shock that he had been able to do it all. I wondered if he blamed me for his under-performance.
I waited for a few more minutes, watching the team cheer, clap and wave. I adjusted the sunglasses on my face and stood up when they started to walk back in towards the locker room. It was time for me to leave. I had seen what I had come here to see. This would be my last memory of Kyle, in person, at least. I was glad they had won the game.
I weaved through the cheering crowds and made my way out. The crowd was thick and I was pushed around a bit, but I placed my hand on my belly protectively and managed to squeeze my way through.
“Erica!” I heard a voice behind me. When I turned around, I could see Lewis’ head bobbing up in the sea of people. He was waving to me, scorn on his face. I stopped in my tracks as he pushed people out of the way to reach me. “What are you doing here?” he asked when he had managed to come closer. He had to scream over the heads of thousands of fans.
I was still being pushed by the outgoing crowd, and I tried to hold my place. “I came to watch the game,” I said. I could sense the hostility emanating from Lewis. He wasn’t smiling, he wasn’t happy to see me.
“The media got wind that you were attending. They saw you at the seats,” he said, coming even closer now.
“Yes, I saw the cameras. I wasn’t here for them,” I stated, folding my arms. My shoulders were still being jerked by everyone who pushed against me.
“I find that hard to believe. Are you going to make some kind of statement?” Lewis asked. He came ever closer and I felt some of his spittle land on my face. Did he really hate me, or was he just being protective of his client?
“No, Lewis, I am not here to make any statement. I had just come to watch the game and now I’m going,” I said and I was going to turn, but he stopped me.
“You really shouldn’t be doing things like this. We need to put the relationship to rest. You shouldn’t be wagging the media’s tongue again. You know how it is, you’re a journalist,” Lewis lectured and I tightened my lips. It was insulting to have to hear this from him. I didn’t want to have to explain to Lewis, of all people, that I was in love with Kyle.
“I was a journalist, and don’t worry Lewis. You won’t be seeing me around anymore. I’m leaving the city,” I said and I was about to turn again, but he stopped me again, this time by placing a hand on my arm.
“Glad to hear it. But before you go, Kyle wants to have a word with you. He heard you were here,” Lewis said and then turned to go, expecting me to follow him.
Chapter Eighteen - Kyle
She was in a light floral dress, and I thought I could detect a slight baby bump on her already. Her hair was glossy, golden, and parted on the side. She had big sunglasses on, covering her eyes. Her lips were pink. This was the mother of my child, and I was delighted to see her.
I had asked Lewis to bring her to the back room, behind the locker rooms, so we could have our privacy. And she didn’t look happy to be brought there. There was discomfort on her face, and I immediately regretted asking her to come here. I didn’t want her to think that she was being forced into doing something she didn’t want to do.
“Hello, Erica,” I said, folding my arms. I was leaning against the table that was in the middle of the small stock room. There was one light bulb hanging from the ceiling between us.
“Hello, Kyle,” she said, keeping her distance from me. Lewis shut the door behind him, and I let out a huge breath.
“Thank you for coming to the game,” I said, trying to force a smile on my face.
“You won, again,” she said, still unsmiling.
“Despite your prediction,” I said jokingly as she slowly pulled the glasses off her face. Her eyes were dark today, a deep rich blue.
“I didn’t wish you ill,” she said.
I nodded my head. “I know, of course. It was only a joke.”
“And I also didn’t mean to cause a scene. I just wanted to watch the game. I had the ticket,” she continued. I continued nodding my head.
“Of course. You should come to all the games, by all means. You’re a sports journalist after all.” I tried to laugh again, but she wasn’t joining me.
“I don’t know why people keep calling me that. I used to be a sports journalist. I’m not one anymore.” She looked away from me, but she didn’t look sad. She looked sure of herself, as confident as ever. I wanted to hold her, I wanted her to let it all out.
“How are you feeling?” I asked and she jerked her head to look at me.
“With the child you mean?”
“With my child, yes.”
“I feel fine.” She waved the sunglasses in her hand, and I stared at her. I wanted her to tell me the truth.
“Can I see the baby when it’s born?” I asked, I knew I had to tread carefully.
“I didn’t think you wanted to,” she said, looking keenly back at me.
“Of course I want to. It’s my child. It’s our child, Erica.” I took a few steps towards her, and I was glad to find that she didn’t move away.
“But it was a mistake.”
“A happy mistake. I’m going to be a father. That feels great and I want to be a part of its life.” I took a few more steps towards her.
“I was planning on leaving the city, going back to my hometown,” she said, still looking at me.
“For a while? Not for very long, I hope. I don’t want to live far away from my child.” I didn’t know what else to say. My heart was breaking to hear that she had planned to go away. Ten days apart had been enough for me to know that I couldn’t live without her.
“I need my family’s support.”
“But you have mine.”
“Lewis asked me to stay away.”
“Lewis is an asshole,” I blurted out, and I saw the smile in her eyes. It encouraged me to edge closer to her. “He has no idea how I feel about you.”
Erica was silent, but she was asking the question with her eyes. How do you feel about me?
“That relationship may have been fake, Erica, but my feelings for you are not. I think I’m in love with you,” I said. The lightbulb above us was swinging. Her face was lit and then not lit, lit and then not lit. I thought I saw a smile spreading across her face, but I couldn’t be sure yet.
“Kyle, how can this be possible?” she asked, and I reached for her hand.
“I don’t know Erica, but it’s not impossible either,” I said. She let me hold her hand.
“No, I mean, how can this be possible? I thought I was the only one who was feeling this way. I’ve missed you, Kyle,” she said and she was in my arms in the next second. Her face was on my shoulder and I was stroking her hair.
My heart was beating fast, the warmth of her body was enough to make me happy. I was smiling.
“Why did you stay away from me for so long?” I asked her. She remained on my chest, her hair spread over my shoulders.
“Because I didn’t think you wanted me. I thought you were happy to see me go. I couldn’t imagine that you would want a baby.” Erica was speaking softly as I held her close to me.
“That’s crazy talk. All I’ve done since I first saw you in that hallway after that first game is think about you. I’ve wanted your body, and now I want your soul,” I said and I felt her smile against my jersey.
We were both silent for several minutes, enjoying the warmth of each other’s body.
“What about that photograph? The one in your locker room?” Erica asked suddenly.
“I never found out who did it. Must have been one of my teammates. But it doesn’t matter anymore. We would never have been together if it wasn’t for that photograph,” I said, stroking her hair. She smiled at me and nodded.
Chapter Nineteen - Erica
The press had been primed, they had all lined up outside the stadium wait
ing for us to make an appearance. Lewis had grudgingly arranged for it.
Kyle was holding my hand tightly as we made our way out. My heart was pounding against my chest. I had never done something like this before. All my career, I had been on the other side. I had been the one asking questions.
Kyle was still in his winning jersey and he had a bright smile on his face as we made our way to the front. The cameras flashed. He was a natural. “Good evening everybody. I just wanted to make an official statement and put all the gossip to rest, once and for all,” Kyle began. The cameras continued to flash as he spoke loudly, but the murmur had died down. Everybody was waiting with bated breath to hear him.
Kyle Murphy had just won another game: he was the star of the show, also the hottest most eligible bachelor in the country, and now he was making a statement holding the hand of a girl who he had supposedly thrown out of his house only a few days ago.
“No, I will not be taking any questions.” He shot down someone from the crowd of journalists who had said something. “The truth is that Erica and I met here, in this stadium, after one of our games. We met and we fell in love. That was almost instantaneous. We have been together since then, and it is none of anybody’s business what goes on in our personal lives.”
The cameras flashed again. I was standing beside him and he was still holding my hand.
“We are very much in love, we have always been together, and little fights and arguments are a part of every relationship. I did not throw her out of my apartment. She chose to leave of her own accord to take a break. And now we are together again.” Kyle looked at me, and I smiled at him. He hadn’t told me what he had planned on saying, but I was glad he was saying it all. Nearly everything he was saying was true.
“I would also ask the media to exercise caution in their dealings with our relationship. We are expecting a child, and we do not want the paparazzi hounding our personal space and private lives.” He ended it on that note and turned to me. I wasn’t expecting him to kiss me, but he did. Right on the lips, in front of everybody.